Abstinence and Virginity

One of the readings this week comes from chapter two in Yes means Yes. The one thing that caught my attention was the section about abstinence. This is a forgotten art of life that a majority of people in this generation has left behind. This idea is that men and women won’t have sex until marriage and that the only way to protect themselves against sexual diseases or rape is to be abstinent. This mind frame views virgins as being worth more than people that have sex before marriage. Their sexual identity is of value if they save sex for their husband or wife. This idea might have been popular in the older generations, but today’s generation for the most part disregards this. Sex is viewed as a pleasurable commodity and is worth less in my opinion. I remember hearing a friend saying that the average person sleeps/has sex with 12 people before they marry. So if that is the case then virginity is thrown out the window. The author makes a bold statement, she says,” To that way of thinking, sex can only ever be transacted, and the transaction that is the most advantageous is the one that uses the highly valuable early product to maximum advantage, to secure the best possible marriage: a lifetime commitment to financial support, and hopefully even an attractive and chivalrous partner.” This idea of sex being a transaction is presented. I researched and looked on the Internet about what abstinence truly is. I ran upon a article that gave a in depth view on abstinence. The article says, “ Abstinence prevents pregnancy because sexual intercourse does not happen.” To read more follow the link below…

 Abstinence

This idea of virginity and abstinence isn’t what it used to be. Abstinence has turned into control pregnancy rather than someone keeping their virginity.

 Works Cited

Millat. T.M. (N.D). Toward a performance model of sex. Retrieved from https://colstate.view.usg.edu/webct/urw/tp0.1c21194011/cobaltMainFrame.dowebct

N.A. Abstinence. (2007, August). Retrieved from http://americanpregnancy.org/preventingpregnancy/abstinence.html

Not-Rape Epidemic

This week has been intense to say the least with discussing rape and sexual assault. The thing that troubled me the most was this concern of the “Not Rape Epidemic.” In this day and age, younger girls are dating older guys and when they have sexual intercourse then the man is committing rape. This is looked past when discussing rape. I think of rape as a someone forcing themselves upon another human being and then sexually assaulting them. Whether it is consensual or not the age requirement to have sex and it not be a crime, is 18. Unfortunately, there are stories of 12-17 old girls dating older guys and having sex with them because they are “dating.” Chapter 17 in Yes means Yes really opened my eyes to this issue. The author tells stories of her friends dating older guys. She is in middle school and her friends are dating guys that are seniors or older. On page 210 in chapter 17, the author says, “When I was twelve, my best friend met a guy and lied to him about her age...He eventually slept with her and took her virginity, even after figuring out how old she was. This disgusts me, but some people do it. Guys listen to girls about how old they are and then sleep with them. Then they play it off as if they didn't know they were younger and that excuses them from rapping them. Not-Rape is an epidemic and it is everywhere, especially in the modeling industry. Here is a quote from an article that discusses not rape within the industry, “I think I'd gone a week in Paris before I met an Arkansan, also 17, who'd dumped her boyfriend of several years to sleep with with a man old enough to be her father who happened to be the director of her (major, well-regarded) agency.” This instance was rape, even if the girl was willing and said it was consensual sex. For more on this article follow this link

Not Rape Epidemic

Rape is one thing that will never go away in the world....




Works Cited


Peterson, L. (n.d.) The not-rape epidemic. In Yes Means Yes (pp. 209-210) Retrieved from https://colstate.view.usg.edu/webct/urw/tp0.1c21194011/cobaltMainFrame.dowebct


T, A. (2008, December 28). "Not Rape Epidemic": The modeling industry is anything but immune. Retrieved from http://jezebel.com/5119469/not-rape-epidemic-the-modeling-industry-is-anything-but-immune

When are people going to stop?

I found Tuesday’s discussion very intriguing and after reading Chapters 3 and 4 of Dude, You’re a fag, I understand this term fag a lot more. A quote that I highlighted in chapter 4 was, “In group boys act as a sort of “sexual police” (Hird and Jackson 2001), deriding each other’s expressions of love, romance, or emotional desire.” (Pascoe, p. 89) This idea of boys acting, as sexual police is something I never thought of, but looking back into my high school experience I realize that is exactly what was happening. Every boy was expected to act a certain way in high school. I came from a small town high school and everyone knew everyone. If you were homosexual then you were not insulted or called a fag, but if you were heterosexual and did something out of the ordinary then you were called a fag. This term fag was used loosely at my high school and I believe it was due to immaturity. Personally I believe that fag is an insult to homosexual people. In high school it was used to specify that someone was acting weird. Friends policed each other in a way that no heterosexual boy would act “gay” or out of the ordinary. Gay was thrown around at my high school as well. It exemplified that someone was stupid if they were called gay. I started high school 9 years ago, but these ways of life in high schools have not changed. John Henrehan reported for Foxdc, “You cannot walk in the halls [at Langley High School] without hearing someone shouting. ‘You’re gay. You’re a faggot’, said Zack Sanders, a former student at the school.” (Henrehan, 2012) This journalists report matches up with how my high school was. To read more please follow this link below.

 High School Anti-Gay Slurs

I wonder when society is going to accept that things have changed and people are not the same. There are homosexuals in the world and there are heterosexual people as well. I believe that treating homosexual people this way is almost the same as racisim. Faggot is just as bad as saying “nigger.” Excuse me for using that word, but I believe both are unacceptable.

Henerehan, J. (2012, March 10). Studenta say anti-gay slurs are constant. Retrieve from http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/local/students-say-anti-gay-slurs-are-constant

Pascoe, C.J. (2007) Dude You’re a Fag. Los Angeles, California: University of California Press.